The end of the beginning - Part 2

Weight: Sworn off weighing myself...it's unhealthy.

BMI: </3

After the first few days, things started to spiral downwards. I could feel friends whispering. One day, I made the mistake of going to the cafeteria with friends to pick up my daily apple and orange juice, but my two friends stopped me and dragged me to buy a potatojacket (no cheese). I was a little hesitant, and this gave them the opportunity to berate me. A long time ago, I had given up eating bagels mainly of the calories, but soon enough, because I had been eating so little of processed carbohydrates, I would actually feel physically sick eating them. A small nausea builds up and I almost instantly want to spit it out and this isn't an exaggeration. My friend then offered me a portion of her cream cheese bagel and when I politely declined, she grew angry saying 'But you always loved bagels before! Then you just stopped eating them and then eating them in general!' I had hoped to wait them out because we had football but they were determined, when I went to throw away my barely eaten potato one friend shouted at me in the middle of the cafeteria and grabbed me to stop me, but I was quicker and managed to tip the plate into the bin.

Never forget this...it took me too long to realise

This caused a lot more whispers, and I don't why, but the first thing I thought of was that the boys school wouldn't find out. Was I that insecure that I cared about what a group of guys that didn't know thought about  me? Why yes. Yes I was. The friend who had pretended to be anorexic was seen as attention-seeking and a liar by them to put it bluntly, so I stopped going to lunch with friends and my social life took a small plummet.

I reached size zero during Lent, and it made me so happy! A perfect 24 inch waist, concave stomach and a thigh gap! This just spurred on my determination. But when I had hit that milestone, I began to doubt myself. The next step was size 00. That seemed a little far for me, but I just said to myself to continue the way I was and all would be fine. I would probably hit a weight plateau soon enough and then I could just continue like this after Lent. It would be fine. Of course it would.

Song of the day:

Somewhere Only We Know by Keane (cover by Max Schneider and Elizabeth Gillies)

The more times I listen to this, I slowly like it more and more. It's  little different from what I usually listen to but it's good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3trFAwjgEM&feature=relmfu