Saturday 6 April 2013

Being ill


Really sucks.

Until a few days ago, I had been lying in bed almost permanently because it felt like WW3 was being raged in my body. At one point, my fever reached 40.5 degrees Celsius! And this all started on my birthday. My birthday was the last day of the school term, and for it, one of my friends gave me a raging fever by accidentally coughing directly onto my face. This was particularly bad as I'm quite a germphobe, and when she did, a little part of me died inside.

I probably looked a little something like this
But now I am alive. But jittery. You know that post I had about the multitasking and needing to use my time as best as possible to it's 'full efficiency'? Yeah, well imagine a whole week of me having to stay at home, in bed. Because it hurt to look at a screen for more than a few seconds. Because I didn't have the energy to stand up let alone go out. I couldn't even be awake for more than a few hours at a time without needing to go back to sleep, even if the time I was awake, I was just lying in bed. And this has given me really strong, anxious jitters. I had been looking forward to my Easter holidays for so long. I had planned days out, sleepovers, a friend's laser tag party etc. I even planned a proper study schedule as well (every other day). But that all went out the window and I feel like I've just wasted my whole holiday.

I go to Barcelona next week, and then I'm back to school. Words can't describe how angry I feel towards myself at the moment for being so ill. I feel so useless, and even to the point of disgust at myself because I've wasted so much time. I've never really been ill for longer than 2 or 3 days at the most, and so this was quite the shock. Part of me knows that it wasn't really my fault, at least not entirely. Hopefully I can begin to accept that over the next week, and I'm really sorry guys for not being able to post for so long. Best wishes to the health of you and your loved ones :)

Song of the Day: 
My Immortal guitar cover by Sungha Jung
He plays the guitar just so well! It starts off sad, but I feel that Sungha Jung ends it well by making sure it isn't depressing but still beautiful. It's hard to explain, so have a listen and decide for yourself!

Tweet of the Day:


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