Being ill

Really sucks.

Until a few days ago, I had been lying in bed almost permanently because it felt like WW3 was being raged in my body. At one point, my fever reached 40.5 degrees Celsius! And this all started on my birthday. My birthday was the last day of the school term, and for it, one of my friends gave me a raging fever by accidentally coughing directly onto my face. This was particularly bad as I'm quite a germphobe, and when she did, a little part of me died inside.

I probably looked a little something like this

But now I am alive. But jittery. You know that post I had about the multitasking and needing to use my time as best as possible to it's 'full efficiency'? Yeah, well imagine a whole week of me having to stay at home, in bed. Because it hurt to look at a screen for more than a few seconds. Because I didn't have the energy to stand up let alone go out. I couldn't even be awake for more than a few hours at a time without needing to go back to sleep, even if the time I was awake, I was just lying in bed. And this has given me really strong, anxious jitters. I had been looking forward to my Easter holidays for so long. I had planned days out, sleepovers, a friend's laser tag party etc. I even planned a proper study schedule as well (every other day). But that all went out the window and I feel like I've just wasted my whole holiday.

I go to Barcelona next week, and then I'm back to school. Words can't describe how angry I feel towards myself at the moment for being so ill. I feel so useless, and even to the point of disgust at myself because I've wasted so much time. I've never really been ill for longer than 2 or 3 days at the most, and so this was quite the shock. Part of me knows that it wasn't really my fault, at least not entirely. Hopefully I can begin to accept that over the next week, and I'm really sorry guys for not being able to post for so long. Best wishes to the health of you and your loved ones :)

Song of the Day: 

My Immortal guitar cover by Sungha Jung

He plays the guitar just so well! It starts off sad, but I feel that Sungha Jung ends it well by making sure it isn't depressing but still beautiful. It's hard to explain, so have a listen and decide for yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J4A6kvoYaA

Tweet of the Day:

Atychiphobia

Sorry, this will be a pause/a break from my Lost in a Wonderland Online; gaming series but I just had to post this today. I'm so sorry on how my posting has turned into once a fortnight, but once exams are all over, I can finally focus on getting everything done. Today I had Young Musician today, a competition run by my school for people to perform in all instruments; piano, wind and brass, strings, singing etc. Each instrument has three subdivisions - Junior (Grades 1-3), Intermediate (Grades 4-6) and Advanced (Grades 7+). Today I was doing Singing Junior and Piano Intermediate. I had told myself not to worry and it was actually working for a bit but then it got to the part where I had to play.

I thought I was doing pretty well, cause I wasn't as nervous as I was last year, but I just stopped listening to the piece. It was almost as if the nervousness stopped me from hearing what I was playing completely. I got the notes right...but maybe not the rhythm/phrasing/texture/dynamics/tonality/derp right xD The singing was just worst. I originally thought that my sining teacher would be playing the accompaniment (we had both made changes to the transcript that would aid me and suit my voice better), but it was a completely different teacher! And on a rusty piano that played pianissimo so that I could hardly hear anything until an important note which made me reailse I was like a whole bar behind :')

But yeah, I can't really blame anyone but myself for messing up. There may have been some other small factors, but I really should be better at this now. It's just made me that much more scared for my piano and singing exams which are exactly one week from now...so yeah :(

I missed the whole day of lessons which was fun I guess. At the end, all the winners of each subdivision (i.e. piano junior 1st, piano intermediate 1st, piano advanced 1st, strings junior 1st...etc.) come together in this great finale. There is a trophy for the overall winner in Junior and Intermediate, one for the overall winner in advanced, and another for an astounding pianist (the person who set up this competition about 30 years ago was a pianist). Watching the finals leaves you speechless. There were some seriously talented people, where it sounds corny to say this, absolutely breathtaking. I wish I could be the musician where when they play, you just can't look at or even think about anything else but their music. And I guess because of that, I see why I didn't get anything this year.

Song of the Day
I dreamed a dreamed - Cover by Rachel Berry in Glee
One of the girls in my category for junior singing sang this song in Young Musician and I loved it :) it is so true and so sad </3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp7ARm2Lwdo&feature=related