Multitasking

Multitasking. Now this is something I do a lot of. Whenever I am on the computer, I am always looking at two things on once. I will adjust half my screen to fit YouTube or 4oD, and on my right side will be one internet window with about 20 tabs, which include all the things I need to do. For example email messages that need replying, Duke of Edinburgh entries that need writing, my Facebook, research for a paper that needs to be done, blog posts that need writing ;) etc. This sort of gives me a sense of urgency whenever I go on the computer. It isn't relaxing for me. It isn't a break really. It's more a long to-do list which is somewhat enjoyable but not really where I can let go.

I, however, am not a balding man . 

This is because I can't bare to let myself relax. To give myself up to just under an hour of relaxation everyday. In my mind I have to be using my time to its greatest efficiency. So even if I am watching How I Met Your Mother or a makeup tutorial on Youtube, I have to be something productive in the mean time. I mean, how dare I do something which relies on my mind to be numb for a few minutes. Otherwise I just become a waste of space, right?

To give a sense of how extreme it can get, I'll show you EXACTLY what I'm doing now.

1. Writing a blog
2. Typing
3. Muted the ad for Revenge (great show!!) so that I can
4. Listen to music during it.
5. Eating an orange
6. Getting annoyed at my headphones cause one of the speakers within has come loose so it makes a rattling noise when I move my head D:
7. Get worried at how I have to start homework in 7 minutes

Looking back on this list, I can see how stressful it looks. But this

Ir's been bred into my current environment that knowledge is everything. Life is a competitive and painful thing, and if you slack off, you are going to fail in life. And so every moment, must be used. Combine this with my twisted version of carpe diem, every wasted moment is a failure. I guess it softens my first statement, with the fact that these moments can also be used for moments of pure joy, but it gives extremes. Either extreme happiness or extreme studiousness.

I really need to chill the fuck down.

What sort of things do you guys like to multitask? Perhaps I'm not the only odd, stressed out person :)

Song of the Day
Ho Hey by the Lumineers
The chorus is quite catchy. This is also the song which I was listening to whilst watching Revenge. I guess this is what some people would call 'hipster' but I couldn't really give a crap either way. I listen to music because I like it, not because it falls any particular category. Plus I've heard this song reach #6 on Capital FM Big Top 40, does that mean it's not hipster anymore? Silly earthlings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8311YhEEbU


Tweet of the Day

An amazing achievement <3 I'm so glad this has gone through! Found this on 11.03.13

Apprehension

Deep breath. Deeps breaths. Or so I keep telling myself to do. I'm very much nervous for the Easter holidays. Because after Easter, begins the intense, utterly suffocating revising. Every teacher is talking about exams until they become your constant and only  thought :// It's a claustrophobic time, and with the ever-growing pressure of this necessity to succeed; it seems that it can only get worse. Girls have a tendency to think ahead more than boys. And so right now I'm thinking  that if I don't pass my end of year exams I will not only disapooint my parents, but my teachers as well. And this will be a reflection of my GCSE results. If I fail those I won't get into a good university, I won't have a good job, I won't have any money, no one will love me because I'm such a failure and I won't find happiness in life- because of these exams. Even I can see, that this is a bit of an over-reaction, but this is the poison that fuels my anxiety.

And exams week should be known as Doomsweek in my opinion. This may seem overly dramatic, especially those who are lucky enough not to have this crippling fear. But I'm really. Really. Really. Bad with exams. I fainted during one of my SATs :') I shake and tremble going to the exam room. I can barely speak because my throat is choked up with fear. It's awful.

What was originally a Christian celebration of the resurrection of Christ, has now
turned into a stretched session of stuffing one's face with chocolate eggs.

And the worst is when I think I do well, but I don't get bountiful grades. To me, a 'B' is awful. When other people get one, I'm fine with it, and if it's the best grade that they achieve in the subject, well good on them for reaching it. But when I think of myself getting a B, the whole ground seems to just swallow me up ._. I think how could I be so stupid? Such a failure? Thankfully I only had one last year, but still :( Having only one kinda makes it even worse in a way though, if you get what I mean?

I'm hoping this year I can manage to stay a little more level-headed, but I'm getting a little jittery already; I cna't really imagine the state of me three months from now.

Song of the Day
Sanssouci by Rufus Wainwright
My sister showed me this song when we went to Berlin to see Sanssouci. Which means without a worry in French. Which is exactly what my sister looked like when she was listening to the song. It was a dream really; we were walking in the Autumn with the golden leaves falling around us on our way there and our parents close behind us. It was quiet, and my sister just looked so relaxed, high eyes closed; relishing the chorus of the song. I wish I could play the day again like I do with this song, just to wipe all the pain from her face nowadays.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfXGxyuSJpM

Tweet of the Day

Atychiphobia

Sorry, this will be a pause/a break from my Lost in a Wonderland Online; gaming series but I just had to post this today. I'm so sorry on how my posting has turned into once a fortnight, but once exams are all over, I can finally focus on getting everything done. Today I had Young Musician today, a competition run by my school for people to perform in all instruments; piano, wind and brass, strings, singing etc. Each instrument has three subdivisions - Junior (Grades 1-3), Intermediate (Grades 4-6) and Advanced (Grades 7+). Today I was doing Singing Junior and Piano Intermediate. I had told myself not to worry and it was actually working for a bit but then it got to the part where I had to play.

I thought I was doing pretty well, cause I wasn't as nervous as I was last year, but I just stopped listening to the piece. It was almost as if the nervousness stopped me from hearing what I was playing completely. I got the notes right...but maybe not the rhythm/phrasing/texture/dynamics/tonality/derp right xD The singing was just worst. I originally thought that my sining teacher would be playing the accompaniment (we had both made changes to the transcript that would aid me and suit my voice better), but it was a completely different teacher! And on a rusty piano that played pianissimo so that I could hardly hear anything until an important note which made me reailse I was like a whole bar behind :')

But yeah, I can't really blame anyone but myself for messing up. There may have been some other small factors, but I really should be better at this now. It's just made me that much more scared for my piano and singing exams which are exactly one week from now...so yeah :(

I missed the whole day of lessons which was fun I guess. At the end, all the winners of each subdivision (i.e. piano junior 1st, piano intermediate 1st, piano advanced 1st, strings junior 1st...etc.) come together in this great finale. There is a trophy for the overall winner in Junior and Intermediate, one for the overall winner in advanced, and another for an astounding pianist (the person who set up this competition about 30 years ago was a pianist). Watching the finals leaves you speechless. There were some seriously talented people, where it sounds corny to say this, absolutely breathtaking. I wish I could be the musician where when they play, you just can't look at or even think about anything else but their music. And I guess because of that, I see why I didn't get anything this year.

Song of the Day
I dreamed a dreamed - Cover by Rachel Berry in Glee
One of the girls in my category for junior singing sang this song in Young Musician and I loved it :) it is so true and so sad </3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp7ARm2Lwdo&feature=related